“You’re not wired to win. You’re wired to fail….”

I’ll never forget those words a manager and mentor told me when I was denied a promotion to upper management.

It stung – but not until much later.

Because I went for the promotion, not expecting to get it, just for something to do.

It was a classic “I wasn’t really trying anyway, so no big deal” macho stuff you say in high-school to save yourself the agony and shame of defeat – I put myself in a protective bubble.

If I got the promotion, great! If I didn’t, no big deal, I was stretching myself beyond my means and didn’t expect to get it anyway – which I told anyone that would listen.

Though deep down, where you keep your thoughts closest to you, and no one else can see, I really wanted that promotion. To prove naysayers wrong and to prove to myself that I was capable.

That should tell you all you needed to know. I didn’t believe in myself – not really. And that’s precisely why my mentor was so right.

The funny thing is, he was trying to help me, but not until years later did I realize it.

And to this day, fifteen years later, it’s some of the best advice I’ve ever received.

That advice paved the way for things to come and who I am today. It gave me the confidence to face challenges. And it gave me the courage to not back down when the going got tough.

The last bit of advice he gave me went a little like this:

“…to succeed means having the right mindset for success. Being willing to grow, and having a growth mindset rather than a fixed mindset. Which do you have? What have you done this week to grow?”

Such brilliant advice that fell on deaf ears.

I’m just lucky it stuck with me, and I picked it up again so many years later…

How Mindset Affects Success

The mindset you carry with you throughout life will affect everything. How you act, how you grow, how you succeed – and whether you live as the person you want to be, with the life you dream about.  

Or whether you look back over your life in regret. For not pursuing those things you should have pursued, for not seizing an opportunity that presented itself, and for living life too comfortably.

But luckily, you have an opportunity in front of you because you can change your mindset.

Changing your mindset will take some work – but isn’t some effort worth it to live the happy life you dream of daily? 

The most successful people you know work on their mindset daily – creating a mindset for success. Creating and maintaining the proper mindset through the good and the bad is a challenging yet empowering thing to do.

In many ways, we’re all wired to throw in the towel when the going gets tough. To say “I’m happy and content where I’m at” when a challenge presents itself. Going through life in the most okay way possible, never really getting what you strive for in life, but being content with what you have.

And there’s nothing wrong with that, either.

But there are those of us who aren’t content, are always striving for more, and want to have the success and life we daydream about whenever we fall into one of our midday zone-outs.

Who desire the man or woman of our dreams, who strive to be at the top of the corporate food chain, who won’t be satisfied until we bring our side-hustle to life.

Is that you?

Read on, my friends, for ways to develop your mindset for success. To have the confidence to seek out (and get) all you desire in life.

It’s merely a mindset shift away.

Having the Right Mindset for Success

“Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.”

~George Bernard Shaw 

If you want to have a mindset for success, create a positive mindset to stay focused on the positive, even when a negative mindset is so easy to fall into. Have a growth mindset to keep you learning and doing, even when a content mindset wants to take over and do nothing. A mindset of love, even when it seems a mindset of hate is what everyone else is doing.

Sometimes just a little conscious effort at the right times, choosing the mindset you have, can make all the difference in the world.

Here are some ways you can do it.

1. Be Grateful

Be grateful for what you have and what you’ve already accomplished.

Too often, we focus on what’s not right instead of what is right. It’s easy to overlook the things that are going great right now when we can focus on what’s not.

Too often, we focus on what we don’t have instead of what we do have. It’s not what we don’t have that makes you who you are – it’s the great stuff you do have.

Too often, we view ourselves as a failure rather than viewing ourselves as a success. Remember – failure is a thing and not a person. Even a failure can be looked upon with gratitude when you have the right mindset.

2. Be Happy for Others’ Successes

Be happy for others and celebrate their successes as you would celebrate your own.

If you can’t feel happy for others when they’re successful, you will limit your own success and happiness.

3. How do You See Risk and Reward?

“The problem human beings face is not that we aim too high and fail, but that we aim too low and succeed.”

~Michelangelo

People who are unsuccessful in life fall into one of two categories:

1) They refuse to take risks or get outside their comfort zone. 

2) They take on far too much risk for the potential reward.

To grow and succeed, you have to step outside your comfort zone, but taking the right risks and accepting the right challenges is an essential part of those uncomfortable steps you take.

4. Don’t Sacrifice Your Health

I see it all the time, and I’ve slipped during times of chaos as well, sacrificing my health for…what exactly?

But what does sacrificing your physical and emotional health get you? What do you gain if you achieve your goals but sacrifice your health in the process?

Take the time to be (and stay) healthy; not only will it help you in the long run, but it will help you get through the things you’re going through today, too.

5. Have an Abundance Mindset

Always know there’s enough to go around and stop competing with others.

The only person you should worry about competing with is yourself. You’re the only person who can stop yourself from achieving your dreams, and if you believe in yourself and believe your dreams are possible, there’s nothing that can stop you.

Don’t worry about what someone else is doing over there. Focus on you and your dreams.

6. Understand Mistakes and Failure for What They Are

“Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.”

~Albert Einstein

It is a guarantee that you will fail in life.

And that you will fail more than you’ll succeed.

But understand that failure and success are one in the same. Failure is a stepping stone on your way to success; it’s what you take away from it that’s important.

7. Prioritize Your Growth

Everyone who’s continually achieving and successful is continually growing.

You can’t achieve anything without growing in some way – growth is a necessary part of success.

We all need to continue to grow; it can be your attitude, discipline, skills, or your courage.

But know this – if you’re stuck, something needs to grow. It’s up to you to find out what it is.

8. Get Comfortable…Being Uncomfortable

The same thing can be said about getting uncomfortable. Nobody has ever accomplished their dreams staying comfortable.

The best things happen outside your comfort zone.

Sure, there will be some discomfort – you’ll have to develop yourself, you’ll have to fail and make mistakes, you’ll have to overcome obstacles.

The path to success is uncomfortable and lined with unsuspecting, and sometimes scary, obstacles to overcome, but that in no way means it’s not worth it.

It is worth it. Every. Single. Time.

The willingness to be uncomfortable is the limiting success factor for most people.

How uncomfortable are you willing to be to become successful?

9. Stay Positive and Support Yourself

How much are you willing to do if you’re certain you’ll be successful? 

I’m guessing a lot.

How much are you willing to do if you don’t have high expectations? A lot less.

Give yourself and your abilities the benefit of the doubt, and by doing so, give yourself your full support.

If you don’t have your full support, you may as well quit now.

10. Believe You Deserve It

Believe you’re worthy of the success you seek.

If you don’t think you deserve it, you’ll unexpectedly set yourself up for failure. In doing so, YOU will actually become the menacing obstacle that prevents you from the success you deserve.

Don’t become your own roadblock.

11. Seek Out a Great Mentor

You’re probably tempted to go it alone, I know I always am, but always know that you’re not alone in this world or on the path you’ve chosen.

Many amazingly successful people out there have overcome what you’re going through and want to see you succeed, and you may not even know them yet.

A great mentor has achieved the success you desire. They know where your head needs to be and what’s just noise. They will help you guide your mindset – to be more accurate and effective, to be where you need it to be.

It’s up to you to find like-minded people and seek out someone that can be your mentor.

Maybe you already know them? Maybe you have to take the time to network and meet more like-minded people? Maybe you could look for a mindset coach to mentor you.

It’s ultimately important to have a great mentor – and then, when you succeed, make sure you pay it forward.

12. Set Goals and Plan Appropriately

Success for everyone is a precise goal; you won’t hit it by accident.

Without a destination in mind and a plan for getting there, you’re relying too much on luck. And you may think people are lucky, but typically that luck is made.

Below are the steps to take to put a goal in place and to follow through successfully.

Visualize Your Goal

It’s not enough to say you want something.

You have to make the conscious decision to go for your dreams. And you have to create a clear goal and visualize all the details. Big and small.

I tell people to visualize the specific details for ten minutes every morning, so you know every aspect of how you feel once you’re successful. 

Note: It’s essential not just to visualize what you have once you’re successful, but all the details – What are you doing? What are you wearing? Where are you? How do you feel?

Once you sit in that image for awhile, then visualize how you’re going to get there.

Now it’s time to break it down even more…

You Need Stepping Stones

The goal seems enormous at first, stressfully enormous. Unattainable. The key is to break it down into stepping stones that will lead you from one side of the pond (where you are now) to the other (where you want to be). Just planning to make it to the other side won’t do. You need an easy path to the other side or you will fail (if you even try).

What are you going to do to be successful in two years? What are you going to do to get there this year? How about this month? This week? Today?

The key is to break the larger task into smaller, more manageable tasks.

Be Specific or You Won’t Make it Across

Break down your goal into minute details. Start thinking about the exact steps you need to take to get to your end goal.

Just as you get very specific with your end goal, you should get very specific with each step it’s going to take you to get there.

Begin with the end in mind – if your end goal is two years away, start there, and step backward to today.

Now, focus on each individual task, one at a time, and once you cross it off your list, step to the next stepping stone.

And don’t forget to congratulate yourself once you achieve each step.

Don’t Forget to Take the First Step

We all get caught up in the daydreaming and planning phases of our dreams and goals.

What it will look like is great to daydream about, and planning is a necessary step, but at some point, the dreaming and planning all becomes procrastination.

Because so many people never move beyond that point. 

Many never get the confidence they need to take that next step.

But they’re going about it all wrong. The next step isn’t gaining the confidence you need or waiting for the right time. The next step is to take action – Because action is what gets you there.

The right time is a figment of your imagination; it doesn’t exist. And taking action will get you the confidence you need to keep moving forward. To get to the next stepping stone.

Your dream becomes a reality with action; if you don’t take action, it’ll just be a dream forever.

Do You Have a Mindset for Success, or Are You Just Comfortable?

“To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.”

~Unknown

Are you wired to win?

Or are you wired to fail?

The answer to those questions are up to you. You can be whatever you want to be, and you can be successful in whatever you want to do.

You just have to have the right mindset.

Go through the steps above, dot your i’s and cross your t’s, and know that you can accomplish whatever you want.

Grow every day and get comfortable being uncomfortable.

Visualize your goal, put a plan together, and take action.

And believe in yourself.

I believe in you.