When I was ten, I loved drawing and creating stories around the characters (if you could call them that) I was drawing. I wasn’t good; in fact, I remember some of my drawings being downright insulting to human anatomy. But I enjoyed it.

Not too long after that, I loved acting. I loved being in plays and being in front of people. I don’t know that I was particularly good at that either, but I enjoyed it.

For a while.

Somewhere along the way, reality sets in — from your parents, school, or society — and we naturally get in line and set our sights on more realistic goals.

Somewhere along the way, we stop dreaming, and we start conforming to what other people view as success, and we stop, more and more, getting out of line.

And so it is that we all grow up how we think we should. And we all feel a little lost. We have a void. We seem to be missing some kind of passion and purpose.

Have you felt that…empty feeling in the pit of your stomach? That void?

Maybe you feel it right now, and you’re wholly lost in it. Maybe you’re just stuck in a rut lately. Or maybe you feel it when you have those precious few moments to yourself, and you otherwise drown it out with all the tasks you give yourself day in and day out.

I’ve been all three.

I was drowning in it for about ten years before I realized it.

But that’s ok.

Why?

Because at least I realized it, while most never seem to.

I’m not saying I found my life’s purpose, but I’m more living more passionately and happily now (and making less money) than I’ve been in a long time. I’m still learning and shifting at forty — but hey, it’s never too late to live a better life, right?

I thought long and hard about some things I did to create this change so I could pass some of it along to you.

Be Careful — Don’t Overwhelm Yourself with Your Life’s Purpose

It can be daunting, it can be scary, and it can look too big. Further, maybe you’re not sure what your life’s purpose is.

All of that is a-ok, my friends.

Just focus on doing something you enjoy and are passionate about. Just that can be hard enough, but when you associate what you’re doing with finding your life’s purpose, it can seem too big and bold and unattainable.

Hey, I don’t know if I know my life’s purpose, but I’m sure as hell doing something I enjoy right now, and that’s all that matters.

Life is an adventure of constant growth and change, so ask yourself some questions and noodle on some info below, and just make a commitment to take action and move forward every day.

“You don’t have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great.”
~Zig Ziglar

Hopefully, my ramblings help in some way.

Travel Back in Time

What made Ten-year-old you shine?

When I took to this discovering my life’s purpose thing, one thing I realized is that we all had times in our past where we were just happy, and we knew what we loved doing. Everyone and everything else be damned.

But then life happens.

Your childhood passions and teenage aspirations get pushed aside for the real world.

A world where your parents, siblings, peers, teachers — society — coerce you into focusing on more realistic goals.

Safe and money-making goals; goals that keep you in line with everyone else, living that so-called AmericanDream; goals that have nothing to do with what YOU really want.

What happened to the aspirations you had? What happened to the stuff you’ve loved doing over the years?

Look into a Crystal Ball

What would a ten-year-older-you think about looking back on your life at this exact moment?

Whenever I’m going to make a critical life decision (or get scared out of making one), I look to Future Jay.

I do this because — experience has taught me — there’s a lot I look back at ten years ago that I’m pissed I didn’t pursue.

Things I didn’t do for what seemed like the right reasons at the time turned out to be nothing more than fear and self-doubt that ultimately led me to decide not to take action and take a chance on me.

More times than I want to admit.

So why can’t that work the other way around?

It does; it works pretty damn well, too.

Here’s something for you to try right now.

Fast-forward ten years in the future. You look back on your life. You look back on this very moment.

Would Future You be happy with what you’re doing? Or would he or she shake his or her head in shame that you’re still just doing and you’re not really living?

And now you have the added weight of knowing you’re potentially lying to Future You. Better fess up.

I do this practice more and more.

For example, are you noodling on any important life decisions right now? Maybe starting a side-hustle, accepting that new job, going back to school, or thinking about changing careers?

Perhaps it’s more of an investment — in your house, your future, your family?

Ask yourself this little question:

WWFYD — What Would Future You Do?

Where Did the Time Go?

Do you ever have those nights where you look at the clock and realize that you somehow must have time-traveled because you don’t know where the h-e-double-hockey-sticks the past four hours have gone?

And you panic because you have an important meeting tomorrow morning and now you’re only going to get three hours of sleep?

No, I’m not talking when you binged the last season of Stranger Things (no offense, I did it too), but instead, you were doing something that you get lost in.

A hobby, a passion, something that makes you as happy as that day that special someone said yes.

What do you do that makes you forget time and everything else going on around you?

What Scares the Bejesus out of You?

Is there something you’re not doing because you’re scared of the outcome?

“People will laugh!”

“What will my friends think?”

“I’m going to look like an idiot if I fail…”

The best things in life should scare you — you’re getting out of your comfort zone, and you’re trying something new.

But here’s the truth about failure — if you’ve never failed, you’re not trying.

“Life ain’t picture perfect, we use the negatives to develop”
~Logic

I’ll hire someone who’s failed a hundred times to someone else’s five every day of the week and twice on Sundays because they’re going for it, man.

Do things that scare you; they’re often the best things you can do.

No matter the outcome, you’re going to learn a heckuva lot about yourself.

You’re making fear-decisions (which Future You may take offense to), or you’re making growth-decisions.

Make sure you’re making the latter.

What Does Your Ideal Day Look Like?

Visualize your perfect day. What does it look like?

Sure, you’re happy. But where do you wake up, what do you do when you wake up?

Often we can find out what we truly want to be doing if we sit back and allow ourselves to visualize our ideal, happy, successful day.

For example, here’s mine:

I wake up bright and early, and I walk to the balcony overlooking a small town in Italy.

Peaceful, beautiful, historic.

On the balcony sits a table with my computer and everything I need to get some work done.

I make my morning bulletproof coffee and spend the morning working with my clients.

I work out (have to stay fit), eat some pasta, and the rest of the day is mine to explore the city.

That was my visualization for a long time. I dreamed it. And one day, I ripped that band-aid off and did what I had to do to get there.

That’s how I realized that not only did I love traveling, I want to travel a lot more. That helping people was what I wanted to do all along.

Future Jay stopped allowing me to make fear-decisions, and I’m going for it.

Be a Superhero — Do the Impossible.

In a world where anything is possible, what would you do? Who would you be? Can you take steps to get there even if it seems so far away?

I’ve got news for you, my friends, we are all more capable than you know — you can do some amazing things.

And nearly anything is possible in today’s world.

Think outside the box; how can you weave your passion more into your life?

Even if it seems so far away and so hard, won’t it all be worth it once you get there?

Maybe you can even make money from it; maybe it can even be your sole source of income.

Maybe you realize that it’s not all about money; it’s about happiness.

And that’s the account you should be filling up.

It’s not how many zeroes are in your bank account; it’s how many things you’ve gone for, how many growth decisions you’ve made, and how it’s attributed to you having a HUGE happiness account.

Unsure? Do That Shiny New

Are you still trying to discover things you’re passionate about; that drive you?

Then it’s time to get out there and try new things.

Do something new, at least once a week.

Go to entrepreneur workshops, try stand-up comedy, get together with friends, meet new people.

This will help you find more that you enjoy doing and will help get more ideas flowing. And you never know how the people you meet can change you.

Break Out Your Pen and Paper

Another trick to discover more things you love.

Writing.

Writing is so powerful, use that to your advantage.

Find an undistracted location and lock yourself in with a pen and a notebook.

Grab your notebook, flip to a blank page, and write my passions or my purpose or what I love on top.

And then let your mind wander and write whatever comes to mind for sixty minutes.

You may be shocked by some of what you write down.

Do it weekly or even daily. Make it a journal.

Sometimes when the planets align, you get into an incredible flow state, and you just go. And the ideas and thoughts on that piece of paper can change your life.

Baby Steps Can Change Everything…

“UNLESS SOMEONE LIKE YOU CARES A WHOLE AWFUL LOT, NOTHING IS GOING TO GET BETTER. IT’S NOT.”
~Dr. Seuss (Ted Geisel)

I’m not advocating that you up and change your entire life tomorrow.

I’m not even advocating that you discover your life’s purpose, it can be hard and intimidating.

But for many of us, there comes a time when you realize — you got wrapped up in life, and before you knew it, you forget the most crucial aspect of your life — YOU.

So maybe there are just some things you can start changing to be a little happier? To get a little more pep in your step? And you never know where it may lead you.

Maybe it’s time to step up and make sure you don’t disappoint Future You.

Better yet, create a life that would make Future You jump for joy because they’re walking around in your perfect day.