Have you ever given up too soon on something important to you?
Maybe it was your New Year’s resolution to get in better shape.
Maybe this was the year you were going to go for that promotion, but you never did.
Maybe you were chasing (or still are) a dream, and you continue to give up on it.
I’ve been there too.
It’s all too easy to give up, especially when you stumble, make a mistake, or even “fail” at something.
(Though it’s important to note that failure is part of the journey on the path to success)
It’s easy to go back to being comfortable, to go back to life being easy.
But then you’re stuck with that nagging.
That constant voice in your head saying:
“But what if!?”
Because your wants and needs don’t just fade away.
Neither do your ambitions.
And certainly not your dreams.
They keep nagging and pulling because they know that’s what’ll make you happy.
And part of chasing your dreams – successfully – is learning how to be more resilient in the face of fear, failure, and all the other excuses you’ll come up with to NOT follow your dreams.
What Does Resilient Mean?
Resiliency is a characteristic possessed by every individual who has ever achieved something genuinely worthwhile.
Every success story you’ve read.
Every bout of heroics in sports.
Even every ‘this came out of nowhere and now I’m successful.’
Resilience is a big part of the success equation.
Being able to push through difficulties, setbacks, and the unrelenting obstacles that life throws your way is paramount to success in whatever it is you seek.
Resiliency is a must to separate yourself from the status quo and lead an accomplished and happy life.
Read on for five ways to be more resilient in life.
1. Get Out of Your Comfort Zone and Into Your Growth Zone
I talk a lot about staying in your comfort zone and why you should work to escape it consistently.
Heck, my twenties were just me staying as comfortable as possible.
And that’s a regret that I took personally in my thirties and made a change.
But many people live that way.
Sure they want more in their life – but then they go home from work, sit on the couch, and watch Netflix.
One of the most important habits you can develop to build resilience is to seek out discomfort.
Think about the things you know you should do, but always find an excuse to avoid executing.
Think about where you want to improve in life and yet do nothing about it.
Think about the goals you have, even deep down, that you never take a step towards.
Becoming resilient involves voluntarily attacking discomfort head-on instead of coming up with yet another excuse to postpone what you need to do.
Because otherwise, where are you going to be in a year? How about five years?
I’ll tell you where – right where you are today…
2. Solidify Your “Why”
“He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how.”
I can go deep into how I finally discovered my why (and I recently did, here: Finding Your Purpose…) and how it changed everything.
And it can change everything for you, too.
Note: If you’re having trouble identifying your “why,” reach out and contact me – I can help.
Being resilient is synonymous with refusing to give up. And to do so, having a deeply rooted conviction as to why you are doing something in the first place is critical.
Doing something difficult just for the sake of discomfort is highly likely to result in failure.
Find your WHY, and you will find your resilience.
3. Keep Your Ego in Check
So many of us shy away from challenges for fear of how others will perceive us.
Don’t believe me? Think about the last time you even stepped a little way outside your comfort zone?
What happened in your mind? Did you think about what those closest to you would think? About what your mom would think? About what your friends would think?
Because it happens to most of us that way.
But the truth is this: YOUR life is not a drill or a dress rehearsal before the real thing.
I hate to be blunt, but you’re here for a short time, and you can bet that one day you’ll look back and regret not going after what you wanted because of what so and so thought about it.
Resiliency and ego do not coexist.
It’s a hard lesson to learn, to not care what others think, but if you’re going to do something big, you must learn to master this skill.
4. Don’t Shy Away From Failure
“Everything you want is on the other side of fear.”
– Jack Canfield
Failure is an inevitable and vital part of your life.
To become skillful at anything, an enormous amount of failure is involved. In the pursuit of anything truly worthwhile, setbacks and obstacles are a guarantee.
Every person you know that’s successful has failed a lot.
“Giving up is the only sure way to fail.”
– Gena Showalter
In fact, I’d argue that the more successful someone is, the more they’ve failed along the way.
Every time you fail at something and refuse to let a mistake or setback halt your progress, you’re building resilience.
When you fail, and you will, use the situation as a lesson to fail better next time.
5. Focus on Positive Self-Talk
Have you ever realized that how you communicate with yourself is much worse than how you communicate with others?
We guilt ourselves, we sling insults at ourselves, and we criticize ourselves to the point of, at times, sadness and depression.
To the point of giving up, quitting, or deciding to try it another day.
The way you communicate with yourself in your mental environment has to be positive and compassionate if you want to be more resilient. YOU must be a voice of support and motivation to yourself during the hard times.
Being able to maintain your resiliency relies heavily on your ability to sustain positive self-talk.
It’s something you have to work on because it (unfortunately) doesn’t come naturally. But the more you do it, the easier it becomes.
Don’t be so hard on yourself.
Be More Resilient In Your Life
Resiliency isn’t something we were all born with, but it is something we can attain and work towards.
It’s easy to want to give up when the going gets tough.
To bury your head in the sand.
To walk away and say, “maybe I’ll do this later, when *insert excuse here.“
But to have the ultimate success and happiness that you strive for in your life, you have to learn how to be resilient.
You must find your purpose and passion. You must figure out what you want how you’re going to get there. And then go for what you want in life, unequivocally, and let nothing get in your way.
The five steps above will help you shed light on and grow your resiliency muscle, and the more you take on being resilient, the easier it will become.
And then some of those trips outside of your comfort zone won’t be so difficult – you’ll look forward to it.
And you’ll see the happiness and success you’ve strived for so long.
Trust me – I’ve been there too.