Has fear ever held you back?

Maybe you were excited to take a shot and start your own business, go for that epic promotion, or go back to school to pursue a dream. And yet, in the end, you didn’t because you feared failing, or that you wouldn’t live up to your expectations, or maybe you even thought you didn’t deserve it.

So you just let it go.

That’s fear talking.

It’s unkind and it’s persistent.

It’s a dream killer.

But what if you could do what you wanted, fear and self-doubt be damned?

Fear can consume you, especially when you’re doing – or even just thinking about doing – anything new or outside your comfort zone.

But fear is there for a reason; the answer isn’t eliminating it, it’s working with it and using it to your advantage.

In fact, if you try to combat your fear, you create internal struggles that further complicate your fear and self-doubt.

The key is using fear to help you to grow and to pursue your dreams even harder.

And more – use that fear to begin doing things you love so you can live your best life.

Use your fear to relentlessly pursue your dreams.

Why Fear Holds You Back

Once you decide to take a giant leap and follow your dreams, you’re going to face fear.

Fear is there for an excellent reason – it saved plenty of our ancestor’s lives. From an animal attack while foraging, an attack from a warring tribe, or even getting kicked out of their tribe and trying to survive independently in a harsh and violent world.

While those things are (thankfully) no longer a part of our daily lives, fresh fears have replaced them, like getting on stage for a public speech, asking out that cute girl, or building the courage to go out on your own to start your own business.

I know what you’re thinking – that these don’t even sound close to the same.

And they’re not.

But they trigger that same fear.

We may not be running from a hungry lion or a going on a dangerous mission to gather food in the territory of a competing tribe – the world is different now – but fear acts the same.

It tries its best to keep you safe from things that even have a remote possibility of hurting you.

But in the process it can stop you from doing extraordinary things.

Extraordinary things that have the power to change your life.

But if you use it right, it can also propel you to a better life. It could propel you to follow your dreams.

Should You Pursue Your Dreams, no matter how hard?

The real question isn’t should you pursue your dreams?, it’s how should you pursue your dreams?, or maybe even why should you pursue your dreams?

I will try to answer both questions in the rest of this article.

But first, let me give you a quick and dirty of my story.

Last year I quit my comfortable living and changed my life – completely. I decided I wanted to enjoy my life. That I would do what I enjoyed from now on, even how I earned my living – which didn’t align with my current situation.

I had a good life most of the time. It was…comfortable. 

But, as we’ll discuss later, comfortable isn’t always good.

I made good money, lived in Hawaii, and had a great group of friends. And I was mostly happy. But when I would lie in bed at night and it was just me alone with my thoughts, it was apparent that something was missing. There was a massive void.

It was a struggle between who I was and who I wanted to be.

I went through that for not days or weeks or months – I went through it for years.

And I suspect that many of you are going through something similar.

Fear is the Only Thing That Makes Your Dreams Impossible

Your natural first response to uncertainty and fear is to flee to save yourself.

It’s hard-wired in you.

And that transpires into a form of inaction or “running away from your dreams.”

Fear is still something for you to listen to – some fear is healthy – but much of it is caused now by irrational exaggerations of reality.

But if you can peek behind this wall of irrational fear, you’ll see that what you’re fearing isn’t so bad. And you’ll realize that you have power over these irrational thoughts, and just knowing that this can be the case is often enough to stick around and make a more rational decision.

Because behind this wall is also where you’ll find your deepest desires.

So where do you even begin?

Use Fear as a Tool and take action

“Each of us must confront our own fears, must come face to face with them. How we handle our fears will determine where we go with the rest of our lives. To experience adventure or to be limited by the fear of it.”
-~Judy Blume

Those who are most successful feel that fear too, just like you.

But they use it as a motivator to push them forward.

The reason most people fail is simply inaction. Fear and self-doubt will push you in that direction.

To be successful, you must face your fear head-on and realize why it’s there. If you get out of your own head, step back, and think about it, is that thing you fear really that bad? Isn’t it just an exaggeration of the truth?

Is this fear holding you back?

Is it holding you back from what you desire, what you deserve, from what you dream your life could be?

If so, it’s time to face your fear, decide that you deserve that life, and take action.

And tomorrow.

And the next day.

Pretty soon, you’ll be riding a wave of momentum.

fear can be the ultimate game-changer

Should you pursue your dreams? 

You should pursue your dreams relentlessly.

But how do you overcome fear and use it for the courage to pursue your dreams.

You can’t just get rid of fear. You must work with it.

So how do you do that?

Develop a Relationship with Your Fear

“Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood.’
~Marie Curie

Always remember this:

Fear is an outcome, not your reality.

Fear comes from two places:

• Your past as you relive your past failures
• Your future as you fear the outcome of failure

Neither of which has a bearing on you right now.

We see an imagined outcome usually based on fear and self-doubt, and it drives us to half-assing it into failure, or complete inaction.

And we think about that potential failure that could (just maybe) come.

But it’s nothing more than an imagined story.

Stop fearing an imagined outcome.

To face your fears, you must face these exaggerated and false outcomes too. Instead of picturing and feeling all of these bad outcomes, picture and feel a great result.

Picture your perfect outcome.

Because if we are just talking about imagined stories anyway, isn’t that just as likely?

By understanding why your fears are rising, and that they are just trying to save you from your own imagined outcomes, you can learn to deal with those past failures or insecurities, go forward with that in mind, and flow around them as a river flows effortlessly around a rock.

Once you can understand and accept this, it’s important to understand your zone of growth.

Your Best Life Begins Outside Your Comfort Zone

Fear stunts your growth, makes you stay in your comfort zone, and convinces you to just live within your means.

In doing so, you just barely scratch the surface of the things you’re capable of.

Fear makes us uncomfortable, and to get through it, it’s time you got comfortable being uncomfortable. Some of the most important and valuable things you do in life require doing things that’ll get you outside of your comfort zone – and into your growth zone.

Just as improving your health and fitness by working out requires uncomfortable physical conditioning, opening yourself up to finding love makes you uncomfortable and vulnerable, and starting a new business venture makes you uncomfortable for the financial risk and the unknown.

Everything you need to do to grow involves risk. And risk creates fear, which can stop your forward motion dead in your tracks.

If you let it.

To live your best life, start taking steps outside your comfort zone regularly. Even if they’re baby steps.

The steps you take don’t need to be big, they just need to be in the right direction.

Once you get comfortable hanging out more in your zone of growth, it’s easier when life thrusts unexpected circumstances upon you.

Growth and Success Starts with Accepting Change

Accept that change is a part of reality.

Change is hard, but it’s inevitable.

We cling to familiarity and stability and yet change finds us.

And the more we try to cling to the familiar; the more change rocks our foundation.

The only real way to succeed is to accept that change is a part of life – like it or not.

And resisting change not only makes it difficult when it’s thrust upon you, but it stops you from growing and evolving in wonderful ways.

Realizing that change is a part of your life and further taking that as an opportunity to create change yourself is the way to start your journey to growth and success.

You Have the Courage to Pursue Your Dreams – But You May Have Forgotten

You’ve done it a thousand times.

You either had it thrust upon you, or you went for it – fear be damned – and you made it.

You’ve made it through hardship, breakups, job loss, loss of a loved one, and plenty more in your life.

You’ve made it through hell.

You’ve made it through periods in your life you swore you’d never make it through.

And you’ll do it again.

You forget how strong you really are. Think of the circumstances you’ve made it through and the things you’ve achieved, even when you thought you couldn’t.

Now, tell me, are you really going to let fear tell you that you can’t do something?

Find the Courage to Pursue Your Dreams

“We should all start to live before we get too old. Fear is stupid. So are regrets.”
~Marilyn Monroe

Fear disguises itself as truth. It comes up as self-doubt. But think back on what brings up fear in you that you’ve overcome and how little it mattered in the long run.

I’ve dealt with paralyzing fear that I’ve overcome time and time again:

• Public speaking
• Skydiving
• Starting a business
• Upending my life to move to another country

What have you overcome? Big and small.

What have you done when you’ve overcome fear?

Keep these with you, and when self-doubt rears its ugly head as fear, hold them up like a light in the darkness.

“The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.”
-~Nelson Mandela

And now that you better understand fear, is it possible you can step back when you feel it, understand where it’s coming from, and why?

Then use your newfound relationship with fear to help you pursue your dreams rather than hinder?

Always Remember – You’re Not Alone

Nobody does it alone, and you don’t have to walk this path alone either.

There’s a reason the most successful people work with coaches and have a thriving group of friends. Because they bring them through fear, they help them understand themselves and what they want, and realize what they can do. They bring out their best by allowing them to get outside their comfort zone and chase their dreams, and not allowing fear to drive them away from it and back to their life of comfort.

Do you have successful friends that you can talk to? You could also consider getting a coach.

If neither of those options will work, how about finding an entrepreneur meetup group? I’ve found these groups can be incredibly helpful.

There are many people out there that want you to succeed, too, and some will even go out of their way to help you.

Work with Fear and Achieve Your Dreams

If you’re anything like me, when you look back at your life, you find regrets – things you didn’t pursue, dreams you didn’t follow, risks you didn’t take, challenges you didn’t accept.

And most of those regrets result from fear.

Don’t worry; you’re not alone – so many let fear run their lives.

You may not be able to get rid of fear, but what if – instead of running away – you used your fear to grow?

What if you observe your fear, realize why it’s doing what it’s doing, and that it’s merely trying to help you?

But just as a good friend may give you poor advice, so will fear inevitably hurt you by convincing you to avoid anything risky you consider doing. And in the end, prevent you from growth and success, and ultimately achieving what’s closest to you.

Knowledge is power, and if you know what fear does and why, you can work with it to pursue your dreams and passions.