I’m no longer in my twenties – in fact, I’ve been in my thirties for a little while – and I’ve got a secret for you:

I still don’t exactly know what I’m doing with my life…

I’m just doing, and nobody quite knows what. My friends and family can’t wrap their heads around it — they just shake their heads when I tell them:

• I’m quitting my job
• I’m moving to Hawaii
• I’m moving to Thailand for a year
• I don’t know where I’m going next, but I’m leaving soon

Or the ever-popular:

• I’m quitting my job and I’m going to write online for a living

I guess you can see what all the head shaking’s about.

I’ve quit my seemingly outstanding jobs (careers if you’re talking to some), I lived six months in Thailand, started a small business, and now I’m “stuck” in Hawaii.

Sure, I’m not making much, but I’m having a great time.

All the while, most of my friends are married, own a house, and have a “great career” and “great retirement package.”

And here I am. Nearly forty, tossing out good jobs like yesterday’s news and moving to new places faster than Hawaii can say, “you have to quarantine for 14-days!”

(which if you don’t know, Hawaii was VERY strict on quarantining during the pandemic)

I’m realizing that, from an outsider’s perspective, I’m one pathetic loser…

But is Everyone Happy? Are You Happy?

I’d guess they’re not. In fact, I know many aren’t. Many are just living the “comfortable life” that they think they’re supposed to.

They have wants and needs that are unmet. They have passions that lie dormant. They have dreams that remain unfulfilled.

Because they don’t have the time, the money, the energy, the timing isn’t right. And, by the way, what would others think?

If this is you, raise your hand. Go ahead, don’t be shy. Once you realize it in yourself, you’ll start realizing it in others. In their actions, in what they say, in how they act.

Almost everyone is walking around with unfulfilled dreams, dying hopes, and dormant passions.

It’s time to change that.

We’re All Living Our Lives Full of Regret

I woke up to being shaken in a stairwell. My head was throbbing. My eyes stung. I looked up through a haze of tears to see the face of a stranger.

There was a subtle orange hue of the sunrise beginning to shine through one of the stairwell windows.

Filled with shame, I got up and walked into my apartment.

It was a Thursday morning, and I had to get ready for work.

But that was my life.

I had just gone through one of the worst breakups of my life, and I wasn’t handling it well.

But somewhere in that haze, something happened to me that forever changed how I viewed my life.

I happened to watch an episode of Ted Talks about regrets.

In it, they discussed that when people were interviewed on their deathbeds, almost 100% of them talked of regrets. They talked about all the things they wish they’d done, the things they wished they hadn’t done, and the dreams they wish they’d pursued. And they talked about all the time they spent unhappy and feeling unfulfilled.

When your life is nearing its end, you’re able to look back and see all of the unfulfilled dreams that you chose not to pursue for one reason or another.

Reasons that, I’m sure, seemed valid at the time. But looking back, they weren’t — they were just excuses.

Watching this simple fifteen-minute video changed my life.

It has given me the courage to pursue my dreams and passions relentlessly.

And, my friends, you should too. No matter what.

Remember, it’s never too late.

How Do You Prevent the Regret to Live a Better Life?

There was a bright spot In the study — a group of people that had no regrets.

What was so different about this group?

They all had a near-death experience.

In having this experience, they were able to look back on their lives with the same mentality of those nearing the end of their lives. And they could see their regrets with clarity.

And no matter their age, their place in life, or their current situation, they made a decision to change their lives for the better.

They now knew the secret that so many of us forget or fail to realize in the first place.

And armed with that secret, they committed to change. And once they reached the end of their lives, they had no regrets.

Zip.

Zero.

Zilch.

They made the changes they had to so they could be happy.

What can you take away from this?

I’m sure you don’t want to have yourself a near-death experience, do you?

I don’t.

But knowing this, and knowing another fact that we all seem to forget as we put our pursuit of happiness and better lives off yet another day, week, or month — until we’re truly ready.

The secret?

This life is fleeting and fragile, and tomorrow is never guaranteed.

Use This Information to Live a Better Life, Right Now

Here’s what I did and still do periodically:

1. Think of the future you, ten years in the future. Is what you’re doing now going to make future you happy? Or are you going to look back to this present moment and regret what you’re doing, or not doing?

2. What if your life were cut short tomorrow? Would you be happy with where you are right now? I hate to be grim, but sometimes we have to face this harsh reality to start playing the game to be happy now, not tomorrow.

3. Make the decision to change. Set goals and take action right now to start living the life you want.

I’ll repeat this because it’s essential:

It’s never too late to make the changes you need to be happy.

7 Tips to Live a Better Life Today

It can be a lot to admit to yourself that you’re not truly happy with your life, let alone disclose it to others.

Let alone potentially making significant changes that will have people you’ve known your whole life look at you like you’re crazy.

But it’s oh, so worth it.

I’m going to include some tips that have helped me out so much.

Good luck.

And remember — no regrets.

1. Just Say Yes

Say yes to something new every week, no matter how small: try seafood, do karaoke, try stand up comedy.

And eventually, tackle something more significant, jump in the deep end and pursue something passionately that will add value to your life.

2. Just Let it Go

We can’t move forward if we’re stuck in the past, continually reliving things that happened to us: Losses you’ve had, mistakes you’ve made, things you’ve said when you were angry.

We all have regrets. If something keeps coming up, bring it to the forefront. Figure out what lesson is there, because there often is one. And these lessons are there to learn from and lead you to something better.

So use it to your advantage and then let it go. Set your sights on today.

3. Choose Your Five People

“Surround yourself with people that challenge how you think, not people who just nod their head like they agree…”
~NF

It’s a sad fact of life — sometimes those close to you aren’t helping and may even hinder who you are and who you could become.

I’ve taken long and hard looks at my life and have made some difficult decisions. Look, it’s not easy, but it’s no exaggeration that you are the equivalent of the five people that you spend the most time with.

I’m not saying you have to break up with them, but to step back and look at who you’re spending your time with. Are they making you better as a person? Or are they hindering who you are and could become?

Those closest to you should support your hopes and dreams, and not drag you down with them.

4. Be Grateful Today

One of the best ways to live a happy life is to be happy with what you have. Right now.

Take count of the great things you have in your life already. Don’t focus on what you don’t have or worry about what others have.

Part of your happiness should be in the journey.

No matter how hard the journey, make every day count.

5. Stop Settling for Less

Always strive for more.

We are goal-striving beings. We are not happy unless we are pursuing something of great value. So pursue something worthwhile to you.

6. Be Open to the Possibilities

“Amateurs sit and wait for inspiration, the rest of us just get up and go to work.”
– Stephen King

Have you ever looked at someone and just thought — damn, they’re lucky.

I think that luck comes looking for us all, but most of the time we’re closed off to new opportunities, new excitement, and new adventures.

Luck isn’t just going to find you; you have to meet somewhere in the middle.

If you’re sitting on your couch every night binge-watching Netflix while surfing social media, luck probably isn’t going to find you.

But if you’re out there striving and open to the adventures life could lead you on, luck will find you.

7. Treat Others Right

Treating others with respect and understanding.

No matter what.

There’s no leeway on this one.

It doesn’t matter the color of their skin, their political affiliations, or their religions.

Everyone is just trying their damnedest to figure out this complicated life however they can.

I have had so many meaningful conversations with complete strangers.

I’ve shared laughter, hugs, tears, in some of the most unexpected ways, just through kindness and understanding.

And when you are kind to others, it almost always finds its way back to you.

That last one, folks, is a life lesson, but one that will come back to you tenfold if you practice it daily.

Hop on The Train with Me and Live a Better Life

I sit here, typing this from Hawaii. I have two clients, and I’m working on starting a second business and a blog. I’ll be honest with you — I’m not making a bunch of money right now. I don’t have a “home” to go back to right now. Hell — I don’t know what my next steps are.

Yes, all of that is uncomfortable. I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t.

But I’d also be lying if I didn’t say that I’m so excited about today and what tomorrow will bring — even though I don’t know exactly what that’ll be.

Because I’m building a better life for myself. One that I can be proud of, and one that will have no more regrets.

Yes — I’m 40 years old, and I don’t know exactly where I’m going or what I’m doing in life.

And that’s just fine with me.

Remember — it’s never too late to live a better life.